I’ve found myself freeloading with my friends and family quite a bit lately. They politely call it visiting, and we did all share our usual great chat and fun outing at each location. Whatever the term, these sleepovers uncovered a phenomenon that was unbeknownst to me in these various relationships that I’ve held most of my life. A glimpse into their everyday routines made it clear: my friends and family have become pill poppers.
Now I’m not talking about serious behaviours – what we have in this group is a newfound belief in a naturally-occurring variety of vitamins and herbal supplements. These, each in their own way, provide insight into how each of my inner-circle folks are aging! What a revelation from this group that I have lived and evolved among for my 65 years. We had moved seamlessly through teenage relationship angst to young adult bar hopping, from standing together at the altar as witness each wedding and shedding tears together with each subsequent divorce years later. We discussed when to begin our babies on solid food and how to maneuver menopause, careers, and middle age, and which laundry soap is best for sensitive skin.
Now they are sharing, with gusto, the secrets of their various pills to combat a far-flung array of challenges with their aging bodies. I, too, should try their routine for myself, each of them declared, so convinced is their focus that they also provided pictures of the pill bottles and the best location for purchasing same. Here, in the order of couch appearance, is their secret remedies:
The calming effect of magnesium, but it must be in the powdered form and taken early in the day to help your body manage stress and ease muscle tension. It also aids in post-workout soreness, which I already have a remedy for. Don’t work out.
Lutein vitamins for eye health. Lutein is an antioxidant that gives fruits and vegetables their vibrant colours and gives one of my dear friends a sharpness of sight. She is convinced it makes ‘those little blurry spots that cloud your vision’ disappear and helps her think with clarity. Well, that sounds convincing, especially given that I had to attempt writing the name three times before I got the correct spelling. I mean, what happened to the rule of ‘i before e, except after c’? If they are going to change old rules willy nilly, I will be needing clarity of thought, indeed.
Next up? A chewy strawberry flavoured chewable vitamin that supports nails, hair and skin. The good news is that you get to take two of these delicious candy-like pills each day. As I reached into the container to take my recommended dose, one of my nails caught on the rim and busted, falling with a brittle telltale ping on the floor. This gave a different dear friend much more fuel to compel me to make my own purchase on the drive home that very day. I, instead, opted to just go straight home and cut off the rest of my nails. Situation solved.
Magnesium made another appearance, this time as a sleep-aide to be taken in pill form right at bedtime. This version has a grand title of Sleep Matrix. It ‘helps relax both skeletal and smooth muscles while lowering excitatory brain activity’. I’m not sure I’ve experienced excitatory brain activity since the bar-hopping days, but the fact that magnesium has shown up twice in my journey is not lost on me. This one might be worth further investigation – maybe after I’m finished this second pot of coffee.
Finally, on my last night as a surfer, yet another old friend came out with a little foil packet. Yes, after we shared wine with dinner, got all caught-up and gossiped out, finished our sleepy tea and donned our jammers, she appeared with THC gummies. They’re mild, she said, to help you stay asleep through the night. We each nibbled a tiny bit from the corner of one and I slept right through my usual midnight tinkle trip to the bathroom, which caused a panicked skip to the loo the next morning. I’m sure there’s a pill for that somewhere, though.
I’m not advocating anyone try any of these and, disappointing as it is to everyone I freeloaded from, I haven’t bought into any of them. The good news is, despite the myriad of information my entire circle was so keen to share, they also still enjoy a simple glass of wine. Not that I’m advocating that either, of course, just sayin’.
