It’s a brand-new year – perfect time to reflect on the 365 days we’re leaving behind and gird our loins for the resolutions we are cornering ourselves into. Funny to have an old, recently rediscovered college assignment remind me that I used to thumb my nose at backing into a corner at all!
When I was taking the social services program at Red Deer College 43 years ago, I brought the full weight of my 22 years of life experience into an assignment called Self-Evaluation. That assignment ended up actually being my thought-process through which I realized I could never be a social worker, and concluded with me dropping out of college! I’m still full of respect and compassion for people who provide that kind of service to people, and I am grateful that things worked out the way I had hoped when I jotted down my thoughts. Here are a few insights from that college paper, dated April 8, 1983:
‘My personality and emotional traits are quite stable. I feel I have a good ability to be open and honest, and people find me easy to talk to and very hard to shock. But I tend to have an idealistic attitude. I wish there were no unwanted pregnancies, starving children, lonely and sick people or stray dogs. I entered social work not feeling that I could change these circumstances, but feeling that I wanted to do my share to ease others’ burdens. My reasons for wanting to help were unattainable. Working in this field has depressed and aggravated me.
‘I want a career that I can thrive in, one that I do not mind getting up in the morning for. I realize now that I could not feel this way being a social worker. When I find the profession that I can better enjoy, I will be of greater help to others and will have peace of mind myself. I have enjoyed the first year of the program and am grateful for the opportunity to have realized that I would hate this line of work. My goal-direction has taken a turn, but I feel confident that I have made the right decision and that someday I will find what I want to do forever.’
Hear, hear, 22 year-old me! That young person allowed herself to change her mind and was only a few years away from stumbling into a world of journalism, writing, a life in letters which I have loved. Have to say, though, that I’ve always minded getting up in the morning no matter how much I appreciate the career I discovered!